I don't have issues, I have the whole subscription...

I was tagged for a weird meme.

No, really, its a "seven weird things about me" meme (thanks Kathy I take this to mean you think I'm weird). My first thought was: "I only get seven?"

In preparation for this, I began to think about which of the many weird things about me I should list, and then I realized that I am not only weird, but suffer from OCD.

So, to start, I give you my desk. Complete with a drawer full of Clorox cleaning wipes, a swiffer duster, several different bottles of Purel and other lotion-y sanitizers, all of which are used at least once-a-day.

If you click on the picture, you can almost see the pictures on my desk

This is my desk. And now that I am looking at the picture I feel it is a bit untidy, and have the urge to reorganize! Even though two of the attorneys have been in trial for a week-and-a-half and it has been relatively quiet, I actually have a lot to do. However, I can't think with everything all over, so it all sits nicely piled in my in-box or a stack on my desk that I put in order of importance and keep pulling from the top throughout the day.



I am an organization freak. I love office supplies and accessories. Over half the items on my desk are literally mine. There is 1 particular item that is not on my desk yet that I must have. Michelle, are you reading this?? There is a really neat mesh organizer with little drawers and pencil cups on the side at The-Store-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Have you seen this yet? I will post a picture soon!

Aside from my desk I have another table against the wall with the hanging shelves. Currently housing 6 stacks of paper (end-of-the-month-billing), which are driving me crazy.

And here is my "to be filed" pile (a little hard to see here, but it is in the basket on the little table. There was a lot of filing not getting done before I started and I'm still trying to get caught up. This area is a little messy and I hesitate to post this picture because now it is here, mocking me with its messiness.



Also, my office is not green. I don't have a digital camera, so I used my phone, and while I don't have lines running across my pictures, they are kind of green.

So, there it is. Weirdness #1 - I am an organizational freak. We went to the local office supply store twice in the last week so that I could pick up labels for my label maker (I love my label maker) and to pick up divider tabs for my binder that I am using at work.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the remaining six.

Feelin' so small at the bottom of the world

I thought it was about time for a change. Something new and different.

My mood finally seems to be breaking. A new job, lunch with an old friend, and an incredible husband can do wonders for a person--namely me.

I have no idea what my deal has been lately, so I will attribute it to being completely burnt out, to prescription drugs that seem to have completely messed up my hormones and other important chemistry, and to the unfortunate truth that I suck and don't fight my mood swings hard enough.

Now I have reached the point where I ask what's next, 'cause something has to change.
It wasn't too long ago (just a few years) I was sitting on my bed, staring out the window across the hall at the trees outside, when it hit me just how blessed I was. I remember this moment clearly; it was an overwhelming feeling that has never really left. I looked around and had an incredible appreciation for everything I had. My house, personal items, my husband. I openly admitted that I was probably the happiest person I knew, and I really believe that I was at that time. That lasted for a little while, until I grew careless and things got a bit messy. However, I've always heard that if you can't keep growing, at least maintain where you are. So I tried that, and I attempted to "maintain". Then I found myself complaining about anything, everything more and more; my old attitude, the one that seriously dislikes the world and has low tolerance level for anything. Now, I feel that by hanging in there I have actually made things worse for other people. Face it, we've all been there--you try to do something nice to help out other people, but your heart's not in it and you're lucky to not make things worse.
Basically put, in the last few years I have gone from Christian-in-training to happy-go-lucky-Christian to I-don't-know. Somewhere, I missed something.

Walking away from a Christian life, in my mind, is the stupidest thing a person could do. I know that the happiest, most blessed time of my life was when I was completely into the Christian life. Not that I didn't have mood swings, bad days (or weeks) or trouble, but there was a contentness (or hope, as I have often heard it put, though I think contentness describes my sentiments better) that can not be explained unless you have experienced it yourself. I will continue on and hope that I find whatever I missed, but don't be surprised to see the writings of someone who doesn't know where she is standing.

As an attempt to keep you entertained while I ride on this roller-coaster, I will be adding new sites and trying out new things. I am even looking into a new blog-host, as Get Your Hook On has just moved, and there seem to be some definite benefits to moving.

Look around, hang out, post a response, and have fun!

Grumpiness and whatnot

For those of you who regularly check my blog, I apologize. But the fact is I have been grumpy lately. No. Not grumpy--freaking grumpy. So grumpy that I don't want to do anything. I don't want to deal with people, I don't want to deal with life, I just don't want to deal. My job is going well, busy and behind, but better than the last job, so that's not it. I have no idea what it is. But, since I currently run the risk of having no friends or family left talking to me when this grumpiness ends, I have chosen to not talk to anyone, or talk to them as little as possible. Sorry--but I hope you understand.

May the grumpiness stay far, far away from you all and not overwhelm you as it has me.

That's all I have to say.

Annoyedness

People often tell me that I am too nice. Let me start out by saying: I know that is not true. Incompetent people annoy me to no end and when I am annoyed, I get mean. Selfish people annoy me, also, and again, that makes me mean. There’s also stupid people, people with no common sense or analytical skills, and some little people--they all annoy me, also.

Part of my problem is that I don’t tell people when things are bothering me (the big things, anyway), especially if it is because of them. Usually, I figure that if whatever is bothering me is only going to happen once or twice, or if it is an undesired responsibility that is going to be shared, I’ll suck it up and get on with things--no big deal; if it’s limited. Except… I have found that for some reason, whether it be because I don’t voice my unhappiness or because other people find the same thing undesirable and decide not to take their turn, I deal with it more than originally planned, and by the time I realize this it is almost too late to say anything without seeming petty.

So instead I let it all build up until I break.

Then I get mean--and not the annoyed mean, the bear-going-after-food mean and I strongly suggest staying as far away from me as possible. And it doesn’t end after one instance, it actually gets worse; because I still don’t say what is really bothering me.

All I can say is I am thankful I married a man who is as annoyed by everyone else I am.

"Walked by the ocean, waited for a star"

It's Sunday night, almost 8:00, and I am not panicking about work tomorrow.

On Friday, I came up with a good idea, found and fixed an error (that wasn't mine), and figured out how to pay taxes--incorrectly at first, but I fixed that error, too.

On Saturday, I went in to work for my former boss (mostly because PL/Biller is stuck doing what was my job with very little training but she did it right so again I ask: Anyone want to hire her?) Talked to my former boss over the phone (she forgot she had an appointment and couldn't make it in--what a shame) for a few minutes in which she reiterated everything that happened that week, including finding out about a bench trial on Tuesday that I had not subpoena'd anyone for. Probably because I didn't know about it and to which I simply replied "Oh." I don't think she liked that.

Friday was, according to the person training me, a stressful day. I can handle that kind of stress. That was better than a good day at my former job!

Heath and I were discussing how we listen to other employees complain about how stressful their day was; comments like "I couldn't even take my break on time, I had to wait another half-hour" and we stand there thinking.... Break? I think I've heard of that.

Things are moving pretty quickly at work. Settling in nicely. It helps that I know what I'm doing. Now I just need to wait for the part-timer who is training me to move to the other facility so I can finish moving my stuff in. I cleaned up "our" desk and she seemed so lost. Probably best to save that til she's done training me.

And as for the cat, to whomever posted on "Green", he has been happy to see me when I come home on my lunch break. He has been extraordinarily cuddly and friendly. Except for when we are trying to sleep. I believe the hole currently reserved for Ms. A. (my grandma's cat--before anyone starts wondering) is soon to be filled by another cat if he doesn't allow my husband to sleep through the night.

"It's A Happy Day..."

So, I got attitude instead of cake and a request to give up my Saturday mornings to “help out”. Idiot.

But that’s okay. I put up with that for two weeks and now I have my own office with a cute little window that is bright and sunny in the morning (it faces east), a radio in my office, decaf coffee just a few steps down the hallway, and a seemingly amiable group of people to work with.

The President is (aside from his pipe-smoking) rather fun to be around, I am being trained by my sister (or at least someone who acts a lot like her and has her first name, though she spells it wrong, and is just as nice), and did I mention I have a radio in my office?

I have recently loaded my IPod with a ton of classical music and was listening to it (sneakily--having long hair comes in handy here) when I would get too stressed at my previous job (so, yeah, all the time) but now I can hook speakers up to it and play it all I want without hiding it… Hooray!

I got in my car at 5:08 p.m. and pulled in my driveway at 5:14 p.m.. Heath said I didn’t seem too excited, but I think it’s just that I am not about to have a nervous breakdown. I am content. And that makes me happy.

So, it will take a little while to settle in, but the lady training me will be in 3 times a week, and will stay at this office for about two weeks (or until everything gets caught up) before moving to the other office not too far away.

Ahhhhhhhh.

3 hours...

Still waiting for my cake. Though, the ignoring me part is nice. What little dialogue there has been betwee us has been short (and far from sweet). You'd think I just ran over her dog.

But that is okay because I only have 3 more hours....

Oh, wait, it's getting even better...

Seriously? She walked out here with an attitude and ask me when I think I can come in again (on a Saturday...) to help out and at what time? Really?

9 hours 15 minutes

Update #1:

No cake. Barely a hello. Straight into "Where is....?"

I'm okay with not getting a cake, it's more the fact that she did it for one. One who is completely done, whereas she still wants me to help out when I can.

3 days, 18 hours, 18 minutes, and 30 seconds until 5:00 p.m. 4/27/07

Update:

1) Told my boss on Monday that no, I would not stay. Was offered anything/everything: name my own hours, work, pay, etc. Sat through another half hour or so of begging to stay. (I still doubt I am getting a cake)

2) Managed through a week of snide comments, annoying people, stupid people, and general "feeling bad".

3) Resisted the urge to become a "Missing Person" hermit in the woods.

4) Took every break (2 10-minute breaks a day) and every complete (hour-long) lunch for the first time on any regular basis since I have been back.

5) Had conversation with the boss when she finally decided to talk to me consisting of several you're-leaving-and-you-screwed-me comments. Would have preferred she not talked to me.

6) Looked at priority put on my desk at 4:30 Friday with list of 5 documents to be done by 3:00 Monday, shrugged, and continued training PL/Biller.

7) "Worked" on Saturday to train poor PL/Biller on my job.

One more week. I can do this.

I got a new job! I got a new job! I got a new job!

Hooray for me! I technically didn’t even apply. They got a hold of my resume and gave me a call. Anyone looking for a legal position, send your resume to the local bar association. It works.

For those interested in the details:
It’s a Legal Secretary/Bookkeeper position 10 minutes from home. Jeans on Fridays, all major holidays off, and they care enough about their employees’ well-being that sometimes they just give everyone a day off. I will even have my own office. Bookkeeping is the main part of my job, but it should only take approximately 20 hours a week, and the rest of the time I will be doing legal secretary work.

In 2 weeks I will be done with my 50+ hour work-weeks. Overtime is on an as-needed basis, but not the norm.

So, 10 hours less a week plus 40 minutes less driving time a day, I’d be insane not to take it!

Does anyone want to tell that to my current boss? After an hour and forty-five minute discussion Friday in which she tried to convince me to stay, I broke down and told her “I am not going to make a decision right now.”
Gasp and call me an idiot all you want--it's different when you’ve been under that much stress for that long. I’m not completely stupid--I am not staying. Even after the email I received from her this weekend. Unfortunately, I now have to go through the entire thing again on Monday when I tell her no.

Free

I got a new job. And food poisoning. Or the flu. Either way, it was bad.

But I got a new job, and that is good. Now I just have to tell my boss.

I Dream of Sleep

Dennis Leary has an entire skit on NyQuil. The stuff knocks my husband out for hours. Everyone I know raves about the stuff and how wonderful it is when they are sick and can't sleep. They just take 1 dose and off to la-la land it is.

Am I the only person on this planet that the stuff does not work on? I take the normal dose and am lucky to sleep for an hour.

Stupid cold.

Life-styles of Stressed-Out Felines

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Several of you have at least seen pictures of my cat so I can't say he's convinced you he does not exist, but he has obviously convinced you he is not the evil devil's spawn that he is.


Here is his story.

We got Cheyenne 1 week before our wedding. Short version: Mother and kittens were "dropped off" in a hospital dumpster where they were found and rescued (almost immediately, for those animal lovers out there gasping in sad horror). A week before our wedding we were playing cards with friends who had adopted 2 of the rescued kittens, and, well, who can resist teeny, tiny adorable kittens mewing helplessly at your feet? I picked them both up and they nestled into my hair and it was so adorable and cute and I got all maternal-like and just had to have an adorable-mewing-kitten-who-liked-to-wrap-up-in-my-hair of my own. So that very night we picked up one of the 2 kittens that were left, swung by a store to pick up all the essentials and began our journey as cat owners.

First thing you should know: I tend to be more of a dog person, Golden Retrievers are my favorite, but I like German Shepards, Huskies, etc., but I like (almost) all animals. I was raised in an environment that allowed for several pets (and some chickens) and I loved it (except the chickens--and roosters. Hey, you try getting on a school bus with chickens nearby, or try watering several dogs while running from a rooster, those things are mean.) Second oh-so-important note: We were supposed to be getting a female. They had 1 of each and they wanted to keep the male.

He is not a female.

We got him fixed like most people should unless you are willing to be responsible for the potentially numerous offspring, and declawed.

I'm not sure exactly what went wrong; maybe it was the night we dropped him off in a house with 3 screaming kids so we could go on our honeymoon. We had to pick him up after we received a call saying he was under the table and would not let anyone near him, including his kitty brother and sister whom he had only been separated from for a week. See, he has always been grumpy. It's not like he has abandonment issues.

Let us remember the time I had to get a tetanus shot and take antibiotics because he bit me. And the time he bit my mother-in-law after she had been feeding him all week while we were on vacation. Then there was the time the assistant at the vet almost dropped the cage when he made a cougar-like sound that had us all in stunned silence.

For you Cheyenne fans out there, you will note I have added a link to the "Green" post on the sidebar (now that it has become so popular, I wish I would have given it a better title), since my cat has somehow elicited your empathy. However, before your Cheyenne Crusade goes global, I would like to say that my cat, as annoying as he is, can be adorable and friendly and cuddly. As long as you pet him when he wants and how he wants, all is well.

I write to vent

I'm sick. Fever, throat on fire, everything moving in slow motion, sick. But I'm at work today. Another employee has today off as it is a holy day (see below) so I have to be here. Also, I am still fighting to take the next 2 days off. So, the boss walks in at 8:00 this morning, looks at me, and says "What's wrong with you now, you look like crap."

Nice.

I almost never call in sick. I take days off for vacation or a long weekend here and there, but those are planned in advance, so to me this seemed highly inappropriate. I told her I was sick, that I had what another staff member had when they missed a day and a half of work (which is unheard of for her, also) and what my husband is getting over. She said, with a tone of such frustration and anger I wasn't expecting, "Well then why don't you just go home."

Excuse me? Really?

It took everything I had to not drop the paperwork I was holding and walk out the door.

Random

I made lasagna yesterday. Good things happen when I make lasagna. Usually, it's just that I make my husband happy and that makes me happy, but yesterday it was even better.

I got a call while preparing said lasagna from an attorney. She said she was familiar with the office I work in, and familiar with me. She was familiar with me and she still called, that's a pretty good sign. She asked me some generic questions, asked me what I currently made and then asked me to contact her staff tomorrow (today) to see if we get along. Another good sign. You don't waste your staff's time talking to someone you don't want to hire.

Not the job I was currently after (a corporation across the street from the last corporation I worked for is hiring in the legal department and since I didn't learn my lesson from the last corporation, I went for it), but it's another option.

Yay. It'll help me get through today, anyway.

Oh this just keeps getting better

I don't even know where to start with this post.

We have an older lady at work who claims to have a mixed religion. Somewhere between Christian and Jewish. She says "Christians believe Jesus was the Christ and he came, Jewish people don't believe he was the Christ. Jesus kept the days of the Old Testament, and so do I." How are you mixed in that? Either you believe Jesus is who He says He is, or you don't. I digress...

She has several vices to which she embraces and has no thought of getting rid of and practices her religion in no way other than to place a tiny menorah on her desk and take a day off work a few times a year in honor of a feast day. Her attitude leaves a lot to be desired and she is a bit (to put it politely) selfish. Now, all I'm saying is that the only way anyone would know that she even knew what religion was is if they were around work at a time when she could get something for being so. With that being said, I'll move on.

This lady, a/k/a LS#1, returned from Egypt on Monday (3/26), where she married a man 31 years younger than her (and missed 10 days of work). She told us yesterday (3/28) that she needs next Tuesday (4/3) and the following Monday (4/9) off work because they are holy days.

I don't see any problem with keeping the Old Testament feast days. Not a practice I entertain, but it's always good to remember.

LS#1 says that her god does not allow her to work on that day and to not allow her to take it off is discrimination. (I don't even know if I'm supposed to capitalize god in this instance because I am just confused over her religion.) First off, we employ less than 5 people so we are exempt from the "employer" title in the statute, but even if we employ over 15 people, we would not be required to allow her the time off if:
"an employer demonstrates that he is unable to reasonably accommodate an employee's or prospective employee's religious observance or practice without undue hardship on the conduct of the employer's business." 775 ILCS 5/2‑101

LS#1 originally claimed that not giving her Monday, April 9th, off was discrimination. I claim that giving her the day off is discrimination. We already have 1 employee scheduled off on that day and only 1 employee may be off at a time. Not to mention it is the Village board meeting day. Bad day to only have 2 employees working. Aside from that, I cannot take Good Friday off because someone else has already requested it off. That's just the way it is. So, how does LS#1 get away with it?

I have no idea.

But that's not all....

I asked for 2 days off next week and had to listen to 5 minutes of I need this and I need that and Is this going to be done and Only if you stand on your head for the 4th set of 82 minutes in the 32nd day of any month, and then, as long as it's the year of the snake, maybe.

So I had to pencil it in and write "tentatively scheduled off"

"Shut up, Baby. I know it."

I work with a young lady who cannot walk outside our office building without getting hit on. Whether she's standing outside on break, or we're walking down the street to get lunch, it never fails, and it always amuses me to hear the poor-excuses-of-pick-up-lines. Especially when they're in Spanish, as her knowledge of the Spanish language consists of "Hola" and anything that can be taught by Peggy Hill in a half-hour viewing of "King of the Hill". (Okay, to give credit where due, I will admit she has learned a bit more than that.) I, however, will not be outdone!

My shopping excursion, in which I learned I have no idea what to get my 3 year old niece for her birthday (but had no problem finding several office supplies I wish would fit on my desk), ended most unproductively. I must have been upset over not buying anything and it must have been obvious because, while at a stop-light, the kind gentleman in the car next to mine decided to cheer me up (hello west side).

"Hey Hunny. Damn, yous fine. You a sexy li'l hottie!"

Restraining the urge to throw myself at him, because I so love a man who cannot put together a proper sentence, I began to wonder what, exactly, he expected in response. Was he reenacting a scene from "Pretty Woman". Was I supposed to put on a blonde wig (hehehe) and say "Hey baby. You lookin' for a date?"

Several seconds, and comments, later, the light mercifully changed and I continued making my way back to work. Not sure it was the better option, but I stand by my decision.

Happy To Be So

11 Reasons I am happy today:

1. Heath Rocks. And he's funny. And cute. And he's my husband. Heath. Who is my husband.

2. Stairs. I have been walking the stairs for 25 to 30 minutes this week on my lunch break (not every day, but it will be three times by the end of the week). 5 flights and I feel great. Also, flexibility stretches rock. I've only been doing them for 1 1/2 weeks and noticing a difference.

4. The weather. It's been pretty nice. I'm looking forward to a good thunderstorm.

5. I have two parties to go to this weekend hosted and co-hosted by people I like, and possibly a friend I have not seen in too long going with, if she's available. Tupperware and Pampered Chef, here I come!

6. I have learned the art of staring at an employee when they ask a stupid question rather than answering them. Nervous freak-outs are the best. (Less stressful, too.)

7. For the first time ever I came up with a great gift idea. Months in advance. It is sitting in my house and I cannot wait. Yay me!

8. I have decided I am going to clean my house tonight. I try to keep it clean all the time, but the last two weekends I have taken shortcuts and done 1 room a day and I just don't feel like it's clean clean. I am looking forward to it.

9. I have accepted the fact that the accounting I am working on will never be finished, the Inventory will never be formatted correctly, and the petition will be changed at least 9 times before it is good enough to send to another attorney (in "draft" form) for approval. I'm okay with that.

10. I just listened to a song about a lady defeating robots. Pink robots to be exact. That would make anyone happy.

11. I don't know what a Wuggle Bear is, but it's so annoying I had to put it up.

You Are 14% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Yeah, I'd pick evil over stupidity any day. I can't help it. I see the consequences of stupid every day. That makes me evil.

Ohayou gozaimasu

Your Japanese Name Is...

Rai Konoe

What's your Japanese Name?

"One cannot put a quart in a pint cup"

We went to the new Wal-Mart by us this weekend. Convenient, yes, but the extra traffic and lights are a bit annoying. Anyway, our first experience left a lot to be desired. Click here and read the 3/16/07 post. Probably best to do so before continuing with this post.

The experience was not enough to keep me from the convenience (I work with these type of people; I have to increase my patience in dealing with them), so I returned on Sunday. Our good ol' pal Lamont was working as the Greeter. A much more suitable position, in my opinion, and the girl at the checkout had no problem whatsoever keeping her hands off the cancel key, thus allowing me to use my card. Amazing. I felt like shaking her hand and offering her a job. The smile, the friendly attitude, the ability to run the cash register. Not to mention the cognitive skills--not only did she notice she was low on change when helping the person ahead of me, she actually had the forethought to ask someone to get her change BEFORE she needed it! She's already ahead of two of the staff in my office. (Gives you a lot of confidence in the legal system, doesn't it?)