My desk has this

Merry Christmas to me!

(Click to enjoy a much larger view.)

Finally! It only took 4 months to convince someone that I was worth the $7.84. Thanks, Dad and Mom! I love it. So do people at work, even those who think I'm a little weird for putting office supplies on my Christmas list.

In other news, the job is going well. Training procedures, zero tolerance of unprofessionalism (i.e. yelling at other employees), excellent pay and benefits. So far, so good.

With a support staff of 12, 1 attorney, and 3 associates, I apparently made friends quickly (or so I'm told by other fairly new employees who say it took months before some of the girls talked to them). Of course, my husband helped out a bit.

Gorgeous, I know. And everyone in the office stopped by to inquire if it was my birthday or anniversary. I simply smiled and responded "Neither." then listened politely as they told me about the last time they had received flowers for no reason, if they had at all, and realized, again, just how lucky I am. I did not get a picture of them right away, so forgive the starting-to-droop look, but look at the amazing colors:


And for all of you Cheyenne-atics, he is doing well. Taking over the house and making himself comfortable wherever he wants.
He likes my pajama drawer.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Search Engine Sillyness

Not only can I track who has been to my site, I can track the keywords used on search engines that lead people to my site.

Recent Keyword Activity:
"Directv Refund Request" - I feel for ya, buddy. Good luck getting your money back.

"I Like Felines" - You can like your felines, just don't LIKE your felines.

"Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers Talking" - I don't even know how to respond to that one.

"My Sister Hates a Clean House" - Mine does not, she actually does pretty well considering the two kids, dog, cat, turtle, and husband. But I feel your pain.

"Shut Up Baby, I Know It" - I know it, too. So do a lot of other people. This is apparently a common search.

The Short Version:

Happy Birthday, Michelle! Enjoy the numerous flowers, even if they weren't all for you.

The picture of my anniversary present would be posted here (I finally got a picture of it, blurry as it may be) but for some reason, if you unplug the card from the computer once you have to restart before the computer will read it again. And yes, I did use the Safely Remove Hardware. It does this with a lot of things. We are annoyed.

Speaking of restarting computers, allow me to strap on my superiority complex and tell a story. A story about a lady who has been "doing this for 30 years". A lady who does not want your advice. Even if you overhear her tell a client "He's here, but not excepting calls" and you know that the attorney does not want his clients told that. Simply advising her that perhaps she should say something like "I'm sorry, he's not available at the moment, but I can leave him a message." will only instigate a tirade (in the reception area) about how you are not her boss and she has been doing this for 30 years and she was not hired to answer phones anyway.
My story takes place about a month after the aforementioned outburst.
I was making copies when I overheard the lady-who-has-been-doing-this-for-30-years on the phone leaving a voice mail. It went something like this:
"Hi, so-and-so, this is "secretary" at "attorney"'s office. I restarted my computer, so you can resend that email. That should help with the "Recipient Error" you said you received."
I ran upstairs laughing. Ask the receptionist, I really did. I tried to hold it in; kept making my copies, but by the time the secretary hung up, I was laughing and had to leave area.

If you don't get that, reread it.

I am baffled as to how restarting your computer is going to help someone else on another computer in another city send you an email.
(If you do not like me and live in Byron, which is where the recent activity on my site from my "friends" is from, or Davis Junction, you probably should not read this next part.)
If I received that voice mail, I would have to listen to it at least 4 times.
The first time, I would be confused and simply figure I need to listen again as I did not hear everything.
The second time, I would stare blankly at the phone and think to myself "I need to listen to that again. I heard that wrong. Right?"
The third time to confirm that yes, she said what I thought she said
And the fourth time to play for my friends.
Mean? Yes. It is. But when you act like you know it all, I expect you to know it all.

On another note, my last day is Monday. I start my new job on Thursday. Which means I have 2 days off! 2 days in which I plan clean and organize every inch of my house. My husband and I are both excited about this. I am actually looking forward to this.

Grandma, I hope you feel better. If you need anything, let me know.
Julie, I hope you feel better. If you need anything, let me know. - also, how interested are you in that A Nickel for Alice book, because I think I can get ahold of a copy.
Dena, Hi.
Family, What do you guys want for Christmas? I am obviously not going to be able to work in a cookie party this year. If everyone really enjoys them and wants to do it, maybe we could try in January, after all the holiday stuff is over and everything settles back down. Let me know what you think.

Moderation

I cannot imagine having so little to do that I monitor a blog that belongs to someone I dislike. Since I track the traffic on my blog, I know who it is. This particular person is a Mediacom customer in the Davis Junction area, who has visited my site at least 109 times since I began tracking. I know a few people in that area. But I don't care, too much. I managed to get beyond the everyone-must-like-me stage a long time ago. Besides, I usually take insults well. It's easy to put someone down, call them names and point out shortcomings, and if that's all you can do, I don't take them too seriously. My point is that it's all about perception. There are so many points-of-view and I am all for hearing another side, but this is my blog. If you want to say something, do it nicely or get your own blog. If you are mature and intelligent enough to voice your opinion without the childish name-calling, I will not delete it. I do, however, appreciate the post. Not only because of the humor current and previous coworkers and I found in it, but because, even though I deleted it, I do not want to be a jerk; and posts like that make me think about who I have become and whether or not I am happy with myself. (The answer, by the way, is yes. I am very happy with myself.)

If you think it is bad of me to switch jobs because of the pipe smoke, consider that there are worse things I could do. I could report him, since it is now illegal to smoke in buildings in Wisconsin, unless more than half of your business is a bar. But I won't, because aside from this, I like this guy. He's very knowledgeable, down-to-earth, funny, and we get along.

And seriously, folks, nobody is forcing you to read this blog. In fact, it's mostly meant for my family. And after years of being so shy that I would blush when anybody said "Hi" to me, I am proud of how far I have gotten in life. I may not be intelligent, but I'm not an idiot, and I will be proud of that.

What I know

I know that it has been a long time since I have posted.

I know that I still have to post a picture of the wonderful anniversary present my wonderful husband gave me (9 years!!! WOOHOO!!), which will be coming shortly. It seems that every time I remember to take the picture (I take those pictures on my cell phone since we don't actually have a digital camera yet--shocked? me too.) the battery on my phone dies.

I know that I am a picky employee and am looking for a new job. Again. With good reason. One of the partners walks around smoking a pipe ALL DAY LONG. He comes in at 9:00, so I have an hour every morning before my door closes and the window opens. And then about 15 minutes before he walks into my office with the pipe and starts talking to me. And with the 50-some-degree weather we are having, and my tendency to be cold unless it's over 80 degrees, I am very uncomfortable. My office is currently at 64. The 55 degree weather is blowing in the window at my head, and my space heater is blowing heat on my feet.

I know that I am cold.

I know that I did testing at one of those temp places and I apparently rock. I type 87 words-per-minute (for those who have no sense of judgment on this-most places require at least 60 wpm...), I am still at the expert/master user level on MS Word and Excel, which is the highest level possible, and I completely aced the proofreading/grammar test, which is a pass/fail test but the lady was impressed with just how well I did on it.

I know that my husband is very, very tired from all the work that he is doing for his mom. I wish I could help more. I wish his guy at work would return from vacation so he could sleep in a little later and not go in to work insanely early.

I know that I have to get back to work.

I know that I don't want to get back to work.

I know that I love my grandma's new place, and I hope she does, too.

Sassy-ness

It definitely runs in my family. We are a sassy group. It should be no surprise that when a certain member of my family called to inform of the need to set up service in her new abode, she showed every bit of sarcasm and sassiness that was shown to her. Apparently the oh-so-friendly customer service rep was taking some information about service starting dates then asked for the "code". When my family member replied "Pardon" the customer service rep said "Code. You know, as in Zip Code. Z-I-P." My family member replied with "Do you want the new N-E-W or old O-L-D code." The customer service rep paused before continuing; with less sarcasm.

That's why I didn't hesitate to contact anyone and everyone I could when DirecTV wouldn't give us our money back. On July 17 we called to cancel service and request a refund (as we had paid for the year of service), which we were told would take 4 to 6 weeks. On July 18 or service was shut off. On September 9, I called to inquire about the refund and was informed that it is actually 6 to 8 weeks, and the request wasn't entered until July 24th. I told Latoya that it was not my fault that the request was not entered until a week after it was requested. Service was terminated, they obviously got that part right, and we were 7 weeks and 3 days from the date it was terminated, so even if it is 6 to 8 weeks we should have the check within the next 4 days. She "escalated" the order. On September 11th (the day before the 8 weeks was up) I spoke with Angel and told her that I was calling to confirm the check would be in my mailbox by tomorrow... she transferred me to a supervisor. Joyce told me she would again "escalate" my request and follow-up with me in 8 days (apparently it was going to take her that long to hear back from whatever department she was contacting). On September 19th I spoke with Michelle who told me the check was released, but she couldn't give me a check number. Instead, she gave me the number of the billing department, which I happily dialed. I spoke with Ruth, who tried and tried to pull up my account to get me a check number but just couldn't get in to the system. She did assure me that the check had been written on the 14th and it would take 7 to 10 business days for it to reach me. But she couldn't give me a check number. I politely informed her that if I didn't have a check number I was assuming that a check had not been written and if a check had not been written at this time (9 weeks from the date of request) I was contacting the Better Business Bureau. Eventually (about 45 minutes later) I spoke with her supervisor Jason who told me that the check had been done on the 14th and I had to wait 3 to 7 business days from the 14th. I told him that I had just been told 7 to 10 and inquired as to why nobody could give me a check number if one has been written. He told me I had to wait. I told him I had already waited 9 weeks and if I did not have a check number when I got off the phone, I would be filing complaints and contacting an attorney (my boss told me to write a letter stating I had retained his services and he would sign it... I love working for attorneys) The conversation ended with "You will just have to wait." So I went home and filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. And the next day I filed a complaint with the FCC. Then I received a voice mail on the 24th indicating that the amount was credited to my account on the 20th. I was pretty upset. After all, we had already received 2 statements showing the credit balance and I was supposed to be getting a check. So that evening I contacted them again and explained everything I had gone through, and that I had retained an attorney and filed a complaint with the FCC and the BBB. To my surprise she gave me a check number. And told me the check had been written on the 20th. So I filed a complaint with the company about Jason (I had his ID#) and indicated that he had outright lied to me and told me the check was written on the 14th. Then I received my check. 10 weeks to the day.

DirecTV's customer service is very polite, but that does not make up for keeping my $500.00 for 10 weeks. If I hadn't paid my bill for that long they would have sent me to collections. I am following through with these complaints and hopefully, maybe, someone else won't have to wait an unrealistic amount of time to get their refund.

And if you experience problems File a Complaint. We should not be punished because they can't manage their money. That is exactly what is happening here. And if you feel up for some interesting reading simply google the phrase "Directv refund" and you will find hundreds of similar stories. If everyone of these people would file a complaint, something might change.

That's disgusting

Very disgusting. What is so disgusting that I had to post about it?

This:


I am, of course, referring to Elvis Presley as much as the Peanut Butter and Banana Cream flavor.

My family apparently finds my disdain of the guy amusing, and a certain member of my family decided to leave this hanging from my door one afternoon.

I was not even going to eat it, considering the overwhelming feeling I have to bang my head against a wall (which burns 150 calories an hour, by the way. Glad I wasn't the one who had to figure that out.) anytime I hear one of his songs or even his name.

But my husband really wanted to try it. So then I had to try it. Stupid.

Speaking of stupid. Here's a story...

Once upon a time there were two employees. One was intelligent and had common sense, the other was unintelligent and had no common sense. One day intelligent employee told unintelligent employee that she had listed the name of the Attorney General incorrectly on a document. Unintelligent employee got upset and immediately snapped back "How do you know." After explaining that she watched the news and read and that you could find the information on the internet, unintelligent employee got on the internet and typed in "Attorney General". She clicked on the first link that appeared. When intelligent employee said "You have to type in Illinois Attorney General" unintelligent employee replied "Oh, I thought there was only one."

Unintelligent employee then went on to state "You know, the one that puts the warnings on the cigarettes."

Intelligent employee laughed and said "Do you mean the Surgeon General?"

The End.

Again?

I woke up this morning to the sound of geese flying south for the winter. Already! I'm not ready for that, yet.
Though I am not complaining about the geese leaving town. Evil birds who make any child sorry that they asked to go down the slide one more time and then have to do a Dukes of Hazard impression and jump through the window of the car because they are chasing said kid.

I had horrible luck with birds when I was a kid.

Labor Day

I love Labor Day. I don't love labor. Don't get the two confused.

I have fond memories of this holiday. The MDA telethon, fondue, and family.
Every year, mom would prepare all this stuff for a fondue and we would turn on the telethon (back when it was on all night long) and we would settle into the living room and watch, occasionally heating up our food/snacks throughout the night. It is a tradition that I miss. While I still turn it on every year to see how good ol' Jerry is doing, and to see if I can understand a word Charo is saying yet, it will never be the same (except that I still can't understand a word Charo is saying).

(p.s. today was a three-post day, so if you're really bored, don't forget to read the rest of them below)

Name that Ferret

Knowing that I have always wanted one, my sister-in-law bought me a ferret.


It's cute, and soft, and needs a name.
I am currently taking suggestions on names.
Names that I will not accept are:
Elvis, or anything relating to (i.e. The King, etc.)
A certain plant from the bible
and other names to be added at a later date as I am sure I will receive some bad names I haven't thought of yet.

De-cis-what?

We all know that I can't make a decision unless it has to do with work and I am being paid to do so. So it should come as no surprise to you all to hear that I needed help purchasing my new purse. As I walked helplessly around Kohl's the other weekend carrying two of the exact same purse in two different colors around the store I tried to reach a couple members of my family, thinking they would help. I was, however, informed that my sister was much to busy buying a door and couldn't help with my crisis right away and would have to call me back, and then I was hung up on when I tried to reach my parents house. (Ok, not their fault that they live in the middle of nowhere and have to suffer through dial-up and the modem picked up the phone when I called) I did eventually talk to mom, who told me to go with the grey and black as Dena was FINALLY calling me back on the other line. I spoke with her just as she was leaving a conveniently close location and she kindly ran over to see my two choices, much to Aaron's shock and dismay. She, too, chose the grey and black.
Here it is:



Isn't it cute. Thank you.

Next...

This part of my post has been edited. After reading my aunts board, I realize I may have spoiled something...?? This will be reposted at a later date. However, I would just like to say that not all of my family reads this blog so it may not be spoiled yet

I have a cold

I have things to post, like my new purse that I needed help picking out and the amusing story about that, but I have a cold and it is kicking my butt. I feel weird.

Very weird.

Just wanted to let you all know that.

My desk wants this

If you are ever out and about and feel like buying me something (because I am just that great) but don't know what to buy me, try this:


(my precious)

It's pretty. It's mesh. And I wants it.

I found it at the store-that-must-not-be-named. The store that is disliked by many members of my family and in-laws. And I agree (the whole major corporation getting away with immoral things thing). But it is so close and it has pretty mesh desk organizers. I hate that it is so close (with all the traffic and lights and whatnot), but it is SO CLOSE.

My desk is incomplete without it. I promise to take care of it and keep it pretty and organized. Look at all of its organizational purposes. Look at the drawer in front. Pretty.




It is only $7.84. Don't you love me $7.84 worth? (I had a picture of this beautiful caddy centered perfectly over the price, but when I got home it was not on my phone. I think it's jealous.)

I need my own show.

A show where I can tell people not to cut holes in their roof if it's raining.

Story #1
If you are going to say something stupid, I am going to laugh at you.
The setting: the local Farm & Fleet (this is important)

I was walking down an isle, headed straight for some guy and his Beverly Hills girlfriend/wife, half-ignoring the announcement on the speaker about visiting a certain department "for all your ag needs" and, (seriously, guys, I cannot make this stuff up) Beverly Hills turns to her boyfriend/husband and says "I didn't know they had eggs here. I need to get some, and some milk, too."

I laugh. Her boyfriend/husband turns away without saying a word. She glares at me, though she doesn't know why I am laughing. I continue on my way.

Story #2
Stupid-R-Us
I received a change-of-name card in the mail from a business at work today from a company I will refer to as Stupid Enterprises. It read something like this:

Stupid Enterprises
123 Fake Street
Dumbsville, USA, 12345

Please note your records that our official name is now

Stupid Enterprises

All other contact information will remain the same.

That's great, geniuses, but would you mind telling me who you were before?

Story #3
At least she wasn't still sitting at her desk.
(I didn't get to witness this one, I have taken this story from a friend, but I couldn't resist.)

While punching out at 5:00 on Friday afternoon, two employees (whom I will call Peggy (hehehe) and Ditzy) said goodbye to the third employee (whom I will call... Oh, what's that bird ladies name in Mary Poppins???) okay, let's just call her Bird Lady, who-for informational purposes I will point out has been employed with this company for 1 year and 4 months-ish). Peggy also reminds Bird Lady to lock up when she leaves (since she was goofing off on the internet and not ready to go when everyone else was).

Bird Lady yells to Peggy and Ditzy "Wait, I don't know how to lock up. Don't leave me." (Again, employed 1 year 4 months).
"Shut off the lights and lock the door." Peggy replies.
"I don't know how to shut off the lights." says the Bird Lady (without laughing... wait, she can't be serious, can she?)
"Use the lightswitch. There's only two switches." replies Ditzy. (who is not looking so ditzy right now)
So Ditzy and Peggy proceed to leave stupi... I mean Bird Lady behind because, seriously, she is in her 50's and surely she knows how to work a light switch and lock a door.

That is what Peggy thought; until she returned to work on Monday morning and found the lights still on, and the door unlocked.

Well, Peg, at least she wasn't still sitting at her desk.

There and Back Again

We returned from Charleston after a 17 hour drive. That's right. We left around 2:00ish here time (3:00ish there time) and arrived home at 7:15ish here time. Only stopping for gas and a brief food break. It was nice. Accomodations were great, food was good, plantations were beautiful, ships (U.S.S. Yorktown and a Submarine and a Destroyer) were neat, I was tired. After walking so long that I had blisters covering the majority of my feet and I never thought I would regain feeling in them, the car ride wasn't so bad. It got uncomfortable, and there was the hour where we only traveled 7 miles or so due to road construction, but road trips are nice.

I have pictures and maybe I will post some sometime, but right now I'm feeling lazy. And a bit depressed.
I got an unexpected call Friday from an attorney in Rockford who wanted me to come in for an interview. I went. The job description was pretty much exactly what I wanted. Actual paralegal work (going into trial with the attorney, meeting with clients and prepare documents, research, etc. and also office manager with a staff of 5 or 6 full timers) but, (yeah, there's a big but here...) she works in family law. Lot's of divorce cases. (sigh) If I don't stand against it, I am condoning it.
When the attorney called and spoke with my husband this morning, she made it abundantly clear that I had to call her back today. So I did. And when she asked me if I was interested, I cringed as I told her that yes, I was interested in the job description, but unfortunately I was not interested in the area of law that she practiced.
That was not easy.
But, hopefully Michelle got a job out of it. She also interviewed there. And I said good things about her. Good luck, Michelle.

Update

For those keeping track, we are now leaving on Saturday. Not Sunday. My original idea, but then again, I'm just a girl. :)

Yeah, I started it.

What babe?

1 week

Woohoo! We have a plan! Thank you all for your great ideas, but as of 12:50-ish this afternoon, we have decided to head to Charleston, South Carolina, for our vacation. We will be leaving next Sunday (check in begins at 4:00p.m.) and will be headed back that Friday (check out by 12:00p.m.)

Thank you all for your great ideas. For those who might be planning a vacation of their own, we received suggestions for:
Mackinac Island,
Door County (not really our scene, but it's obviously someones)
and this post on the previous vacation post:
My other post didn't post but I'll try again. Not sure when your vacation is but I can come up with a few interesting tours.
1) go to the Hershey's dairy where, in 1917 Harry Burnett Reese took a job, later to open his own company which was sold to Hershey in 1963. To find out which company this was… take the tour. 2)The Tufts University to see Jumbo's remain in a Peanut Butter Jar. Find out what they are doing in the jar by taking the tour. 3)Laguna Nigel in Orange County, California on the second Sat. in July to the Moon Amtrak event. 4) The rocport County store in Washington State or the Tom Haywood Store in Croatan North Carolina to see what user-operated amusement apparatus holds the U.S. Patent number 6,293,874 (hint you'll get a kick out of it). 5)If at all possible go to the Museum in San Antonio, Texas to see what Barney Smith is famous for. Gee I should be one of those tourer settup people.
Posted by "anonymous"

Anyway, we have decided to go to Charleston. We will be staying at Wentworth Mansion.
(Click here for the Virtual Tour) (We got the room, not the suite)

We are looking forward to this and actually got a discount because we waited so long to book the room! Yes! Unplanniness works!

People Make Me Angry

Remember this rant about the wife who took her husband's picture off of her desk because she didn't want to give her employees something to talk to her about even though her office was full of numerous conversation-eliciting items? I have to add to it. I am just upset and what's the point of having a blog if I can't vent in it. So, here goes:

Not only did the wife come up with some bull reason the picture was taken down when no reason was necessary, but as it turns out the wife spends a lot of time talking to the other employees. So much so, that several of the employees knows an awful lot about this woman and some of her personal belongings (i.e. appliances, and other such items--not "personal" personal items), favorite drinks, etc.

Nice. Real nice.

Anniversarys

Happy Anniversary, Dena & Zach!

Birthdays

Yeah. I'm old.

But, I did get a cooler that I can bring in to work on Mondays, leave for the week, and bring home on Fridays. It plugs into the lighter socket in the car, and my car is so great it even has one of those in the very back for the very purpose of plugging handy-dandy things like this into. It will be great when we go on vacation! They also bought me an adapter for it so I can plug it into an outlet. I plug it in for about 1 1/2 hours every morning at work and its good for the rest of the day!


See how cute it looks next to the air purifier in my office.

I also got flowers...



I love getting flowers. I get them randomly throughout the year, which is nice because when my birthday rolls around and I get flowers, nobody knows that its my birthday. They just figure its yet another day that everyone else remembers what a wonderful husband I have. Except, this year, the place he ordered them from decided to do things a little bit differently....



Do you see it? The Happy Birthday stick in the middle. Yeah. I get a call from the receptionist desk "Could you come down here, there's something at the front desk for you." So I trot on down the stairs and around the corner and Tah-dah! There they were. All beautiful and smelling pretty, and one of the girls says to me "Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday" and I said "What?" They pointed to the cute little stick.

Luckily, I really didn't mind if they all knew it was my birthday, it was just the act of telling them myself that I minded, so it all worked out fine.

Thank you to everyone, I had a wonderful turning-old-birthday.

Also, I have to say, Happy Birthday, Sarah. I'm getting old, and you're not too far behind me. :)

My Grandma is Weird

Yeah. That's right. I said it. She's weird. And here are 7 reasons why (straight from her hands--she sent it to me in an email)

1. Can't stand things that are sitting or hanging crooked. Like pictures and
the folds in curtains.

2. Must have horseradish on my eggs

3. Bed made and dishes done by 9 o'clock or my whole day goes downhill from there.

4. Shop for groceries once a month. Hate to shop!!! WalMart? NEVER.

5. Cannot ride an elevator above the 5th floor.

6. Addicted to reading. ( Bible, clean novels, newspaper, phone book, notes on
other resident's doors that are none of my business.)

7. While others claim to have the best family in the world, I actually do.

Thanks, Grandma, you're the only one who responded! You Rock!

Shhhh, tv.

I got a break in my going-on-4-day-long headache last night, so I sat downstairs (where its cooler) and watched a couple minutes of tv. There was a show on called "Ten Things You Must Know" and this particular episode dealt with skylights. I have no intention of putting one in; however, it's what was on, so I watched.

From the title of the show, I assumed that it would be a tips, tricks, and "must know" kind of thing. For example, when you play the flute, there is something you can do called overblowing that will turn one note into another note in a higher octave. Overblow a G and you get a high D. an A is a high E; B is high F; C is high G, etc. Handy little tip to know; all those happy little runs in The Hounds Of Spring (Alfred Reed) just got that much easier.

So, anyway, that's the sort of thing I was expecting from this show. I don't really remember what numbers 10 and 9 were, (though I am sure I could find them if I could remember the network the show was on and check out their website), but I remember number 8 because that is where I started to become concerned.

Number 8 was something along the lines of - If you remove a supporting beam to install the skylight, make sure you replace it. Huh. Seems kind of obvious to me. But, maybe somebody didn't put together enough gingerbread houses to know that leaning 4 walls and a roof together with a frosting adhesive is not enough to keep a house from falling. Okay, I'll let this one go, and wait for good ol' number 7.

Number 7 Check your local weather to be sure it isn't supposed to rain before cutting the hole in your roof.

Alright, what?

Dear person who needs to be told to not cut a hole in your roof if it is raining,
Hire someone else to install the skylight. And consider sterilization.
Thank you,
Me.

Happy Fathers Day!

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to say Happy Fathers Day, Dad. Since I completely bailed and didn't make it out there to see you yesterday. We had an employee miss 2 days last week, and I'm not sure if I'm fighting off what she had or if I was just tired and lazy because of the weather. Either way, hope you had a great day!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Gary! Brother, Pastor, Mechanic, and Friend! :D

Vacation!

We have our next vacation dates scheduled. Now all we need is a place to go. Absolutely loved Savannah, Georgia, and would love another vacation like that. There was so much to see and we could walk just about everywhere. If you have any good ideas PLEASE let us know!!!

Also: Michelle, Marni, Dad and Grandma--you have been tagged! <---for the weirdness meme. If you don't have your own site, get me your answers and I'll get them posted.

What I dislike

Here's a post that could go on forever. However, I have one particular story to share with you:

A man's wife has his picture on her desk for a while. It eventually gets moved to a drawer as there is not a lot of desk space and the picture gets knocked around. The husband does not really care, but one day offers to get her a frame so she can put it up on the wall, or somewhere out of the way, but still visible. The wife says "No. I don't really want to bring my personal life to work, and it would give everyone around me something else to talk to me about and I don't want that."

The husband doesn't think much about this until the next day when he remembers that her walls are full of "personal-ish" items (cartoons, calendars, and other odds and ends that would cause plenty of conversation.)

Is it really that big of a deal that she can't just tell him, I don't want your picture up. There doesn't have to be a reason.

I dislike fake answers.

That is all.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Oops. So, I get online today to write another post, and I find that my Happy Birthday, Dad entry from Thursday (his birthday) is still in Draft and was never actually "published". So now it is an I'm Sorry, Dad post. And Happy Birthday, too.

Bellevue

There's a street in our favorite-to-walk-through sub-division called Bellevue. I want to live on that street just so I can say I live there. Anyway:

"Seven Weird Things About Me"

1. OCD-level-organizational/cleanliness. One day a week I spend several hours cleaning, dusting, sweeping, mopping, etc. (that's not the weird part...) Sometimes I will try to make my once-a-week cleaning easier and clean 1 room a day that week. However, when that week is over, I still feel as though the house is a mess. I have to clean all of my house all at once in 1 day or I don't feel it is clean. And if I break that up during the day (do half in the morning-leave the house for whatever reason-then come back and finish) I don't feel like it's clean because it wasn't all done at once. (that's the weird part) also-see previous post.

2. NyQuil does not work for me. In fact, it has the opposite desired effect; it keeps me awake.

3. I don't like ice cream. I do love the coffee ice cream drinks that all the major ice cream chains carry, though.

4. I learned how to type in a chat-room on a local BBS when I was 10. (Technically, my parents bought me typing programs so I could learn when I was 10, but, even though I used them, I spent way more time on-line, so I attribute it to that) Not unusual now-a-days, but I was 10 in the late 1980's. I had a brief flirtation with MySpace.com (yes, that is embarrassing to admit), have a blog, and use instant messaging like my life depends on it, but none of that will ever inspire the anxious watching for the cartoon keyboard (or was it a disk; a computer; a phone?) that would run across the bottom of the screen half-way through the software loading process to dial into whatever local BBS was the place to be at that time. I will never again feel the incredible rush of anger as one of my sisters friends asks me to get off after I had just spent 15 minutes redialing through busy signals just so that they could call her. I will forever remember the feeling I had the day that I was no longer known as "Dena's Sister" and heard her introduced as "Wanda's Sister". Ahhhh. Good times.

5. I am actually really good at dealing with people. I can make anybody feel good about themselves (if I want to); I can motivate, calm down, reason with, etc. just about anybody. I believe I have actually had this ability for a long time, but I was not aware of it until recently, during my brief 6-month period in Human Resources where my job was people and I was actually good at it. But I can't stand people. That doesn't mean that I am not nice to them, when I have to be.

My knew motto is not to waste my time waiting for a person to prove to me that I don't like them, and to instead dislike them from the beginning and see if they prove me wrong. It's much easier this way.

6. Whenever anyone says "Bird" (think Bambi-learning-to-talk) I always laugh (and think of my mom.)

7. Of all of Kenny Rogers' songs, "Lucille" is and always will be my favorite.

Tagging is coming. Be prepared.

p.s. the cat's picture is on my desktop, but the screensaver was turned on so you can't see it. And also, I hope you are not delusional enough that you actually think you are winning points with him... he still hates just about everyone. :)

I don't have issues, I have the whole subscription...

I was tagged for a weird meme.

No, really, its a "seven weird things about me" meme (thanks Kathy I take this to mean you think I'm weird). My first thought was: "I only get seven?"

In preparation for this, I began to think about which of the many weird things about me I should list, and then I realized that I am not only weird, but suffer from OCD.

So, to start, I give you my desk. Complete with a drawer full of Clorox cleaning wipes, a swiffer duster, several different bottles of Purel and other lotion-y sanitizers, all of which are used at least once-a-day.

If you click on the picture, you can almost see the pictures on my desk

This is my desk. And now that I am looking at the picture I feel it is a bit untidy, and have the urge to reorganize! Even though two of the attorneys have been in trial for a week-and-a-half and it has been relatively quiet, I actually have a lot to do. However, I can't think with everything all over, so it all sits nicely piled in my in-box or a stack on my desk that I put in order of importance and keep pulling from the top throughout the day.



I am an organization freak. I love office supplies and accessories. Over half the items on my desk are literally mine. There is 1 particular item that is not on my desk yet that I must have. Michelle, are you reading this?? There is a really neat mesh organizer with little drawers and pencil cups on the side at The-Store-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Have you seen this yet? I will post a picture soon!

Aside from my desk I have another table against the wall with the hanging shelves. Currently housing 6 stacks of paper (end-of-the-month-billing), which are driving me crazy.

And here is my "to be filed" pile (a little hard to see here, but it is in the basket on the little table. There was a lot of filing not getting done before I started and I'm still trying to get caught up. This area is a little messy and I hesitate to post this picture because now it is here, mocking me with its messiness.



Also, my office is not green. I don't have a digital camera, so I used my phone, and while I don't have lines running across my pictures, they are kind of green.

So, there it is. Weirdness #1 - I am an organizational freak. We went to the local office supply store twice in the last week so that I could pick up labels for my label maker (I love my label maker) and to pick up divider tabs for my binder that I am using at work.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the remaining six.

Feelin' so small at the bottom of the world

I thought it was about time for a change. Something new and different.

My mood finally seems to be breaking. A new job, lunch with an old friend, and an incredible husband can do wonders for a person--namely me.

I have no idea what my deal has been lately, so I will attribute it to being completely burnt out, to prescription drugs that seem to have completely messed up my hormones and other important chemistry, and to the unfortunate truth that I suck and don't fight my mood swings hard enough.

Now I have reached the point where I ask what's next, 'cause something has to change.
It wasn't too long ago (just a few years) I was sitting on my bed, staring out the window across the hall at the trees outside, when it hit me just how blessed I was. I remember this moment clearly; it was an overwhelming feeling that has never really left. I looked around and had an incredible appreciation for everything I had. My house, personal items, my husband. I openly admitted that I was probably the happiest person I knew, and I really believe that I was at that time. That lasted for a little while, until I grew careless and things got a bit messy. However, I've always heard that if you can't keep growing, at least maintain where you are. So I tried that, and I attempted to "maintain". Then I found myself complaining about anything, everything more and more; my old attitude, the one that seriously dislikes the world and has low tolerance level for anything. Now, I feel that by hanging in there I have actually made things worse for other people. Face it, we've all been there--you try to do something nice to help out other people, but your heart's not in it and you're lucky to not make things worse.
Basically put, in the last few years I have gone from Christian-in-training to happy-go-lucky-Christian to I-don't-know. Somewhere, I missed something.

Walking away from a Christian life, in my mind, is the stupidest thing a person could do. I know that the happiest, most blessed time of my life was when I was completely into the Christian life. Not that I didn't have mood swings, bad days (or weeks) or trouble, but there was a contentness (or hope, as I have often heard it put, though I think contentness describes my sentiments better) that can not be explained unless you have experienced it yourself. I will continue on and hope that I find whatever I missed, but don't be surprised to see the writings of someone who doesn't know where she is standing.

As an attempt to keep you entertained while I ride on this roller-coaster, I will be adding new sites and trying out new things. I am even looking into a new blog-host, as Get Your Hook On has just moved, and there seem to be some definite benefits to moving.

Look around, hang out, post a response, and have fun!

Grumpiness and whatnot

For those of you who regularly check my blog, I apologize. But the fact is I have been grumpy lately. No. Not grumpy--freaking grumpy. So grumpy that I don't want to do anything. I don't want to deal with people, I don't want to deal with life, I just don't want to deal. My job is going well, busy and behind, but better than the last job, so that's not it. I have no idea what it is. But, since I currently run the risk of having no friends or family left talking to me when this grumpiness ends, I have chosen to not talk to anyone, or talk to them as little as possible. Sorry--but I hope you understand.

May the grumpiness stay far, far away from you all and not overwhelm you as it has me.

That's all I have to say.

Annoyedness

People often tell me that I am too nice. Let me start out by saying: I know that is not true. Incompetent people annoy me to no end and when I am annoyed, I get mean. Selfish people annoy me, also, and again, that makes me mean. There’s also stupid people, people with no common sense or analytical skills, and some little people--they all annoy me, also.

Part of my problem is that I don’t tell people when things are bothering me (the big things, anyway), especially if it is because of them. Usually, I figure that if whatever is bothering me is only going to happen once or twice, or if it is an undesired responsibility that is going to be shared, I’ll suck it up and get on with things--no big deal; if it’s limited. Except… I have found that for some reason, whether it be because I don’t voice my unhappiness or because other people find the same thing undesirable and decide not to take their turn, I deal with it more than originally planned, and by the time I realize this it is almost too late to say anything without seeming petty.

So instead I let it all build up until I break.

Then I get mean--and not the annoyed mean, the bear-going-after-food mean and I strongly suggest staying as far away from me as possible. And it doesn’t end after one instance, it actually gets worse; because I still don’t say what is really bothering me.

All I can say is I am thankful I married a man who is as annoyed by everyone else I am.

"Walked by the ocean, waited for a star"

It's Sunday night, almost 8:00, and I am not panicking about work tomorrow.

On Friday, I came up with a good idea, found and fixed an error (that wasn't mine), and figured out how to pay taxes--incorrectly at first, but I fixed that error, too.

On Saturday, I went in to work for my former boss (mostly because PL/Biller is stuck doing what was my job with very little training but she did it right so again I ask: Anyone want to hire her?) Talked to my former boss over the phone (she forgot she had an appointment and couldn't make it in--what a shame) for a few minutes in which she reiterated everything that happened that week, including finding out about a bench trial on Tuesday that I had not subpoena'd anyone for. Probably because I didn't know about it and to which I simply replied "Oh." I don't think she liked that.

Friday was, according to the person training me, a stressful day. I can handle that kind of stress. That was better than a good day at my former job!

Heath and I were discussing how we listen to other employees complain about how stressful their day was; comments like "I couldn't even take my break on time, I had to wait another half-hour" and we stand there thinking.... Break? I think I've heard of that.

Things are moving pretty quickly at work. Settling in nicely. It helps that I know what I'm doing. Now I just need to wait for the part-timer who is training me to move to the other facility so I can finish moving my stuff in. I cleaned up "our" desk and she seemed so lost. Probably best to save that til she's done training me.

And as for the cat, to whomever posted on "Green", he has been happy to see me when I come home on my lunch break. He has been extraordinarily cuddly and friendly. Except for when we are trying to sleep. I believe the hole currently reserved for Ms. A. (my grandma's cat--before anyone starts wondering) is soon to be filled by another cat if he doesn't allow my husband to sleep through the night.

"It's A Happy Day..."

So, I got attitude instead of cake and a request to give up my Saturday mornings to “help out”. Idiot.

But that’s okay. I put up with that for two weeks and now I have my own office with a cute little window that is bright and sunny in the morning (it faces east), a radio in my office, decaf coffee just a few steps down the hallway, and a seemingly amiable group of people to work with.

The President is (aside from his pipe-smoking) rather fun to be around, I am being trained by my sister (or at least someone who acts a lot like her and has her first name, though she spells it wrong, and is just as nice), and did I mention I have a radio in my office?

I have recently loaded my IPod with a ton of classical music and was listening to it (sneakily--having long hair comes in handy here) when I would get too stressed at my previous job (so, yeah, all the time) but now I can hook speakers up to it and play it all I want without hiding it… Hooray!

I got in my car at 5:08 p.m. and pulled in my driveway at 5:14 p.m.. Heath said I didn’t seem too excited, but I think it’s just that I am not about to have a nervous breakdown. I am content. And that makes me happy.

So, it will take a little while to settle in, but the lady training me will be in 3 times a week, and will stay at this office for about two weeks (or until everything gets caught up) before moving to the other office not too far away.

Ahhhhhhhh.

3 hours...

Still waiting for my cake. Though, the ignoring me part is nice. What little dialogue there has been betwee us has been short (and far from sweet). You'd think I just ran over her dog.

But that is okay because I only have 3 more hours....

Oh, wait, it's getting even better...

Seriously? She walked out here with an attitude and ask me when I think I can come in again (on a Saturday...) to help out and at what time? Really?

9 hours 15 minutes

Update #1:

No cake. Barely a hello. Straight into "Where is....?"

I'm okay with not getting a cake, it's more the fact that she did it for one. One who is completely done, whereas she still wants me to help out when I can.

3 days, 18 hours, 18 minutes, and 30 seconds until 5:00 p.m. 4/27/07

Update:

1) Told my boss on Monday that no, I would not stay. Was offered anything/everything: name my own hours, work, pay, etc. Sat through another half hour or so of begging to stay. (I still doubt I am getting a cake)

2) Managed through a week of snide comments, annoying people, stupid people, and general "feeling bad".

3) Resisted the urge to become a "Missing Person" hermit in the woods.

4) Took every break (2 10-minute breaks a day) and every complete (hour-long) lunch for the first time on any regular basis since I have been back.

5) Had conversation with the boss when she finally decided to talk to me consisting of several you're-leaving-and-you-screwed-me comments. Would have preferred she not talked to me.

6) Looked at priority put on my desk at 4:30 Friday with list of 5 documents to be done by 3:00 Monday, shrugged, and continued training PL/Biller.

7) "Worked" on Saturday to train poor PL/Biller on my job.

One more week. I can do this.

I got a new job! I got a new job! I got a new job!

Hooray for me! I technically didn’t even apply. They got a hold of my resume and gave me a call. Anyone looking for a legal position, send your resume to the local bar association. It works.

For those interested in the details:
It’s a Legal Secretary/Bookkeeper position 10 minutes from home. Jeans on Fridays, all major holidays off, and they care enough about their employees’ well-being that sometimes they just give everyone a day off. I will even have my own office. Bookkeeping is the main part of my job, but it should only take approximately 20 hours a week, and the rest of the time I will be doing legal secretary work.

In 2 weeks I will be done with my 50+ hour work-weeks. Overtime is on an as-needed basis, but not the norm.

So, 10 hours less a week plus 40 minutes less driving time a day, I’d be insane not to take it!

Does anyone want to tell that to my current boss? After an hour and forty-five minute discussion Friday in which she tried to convince me to stay, I broke down and told her “I am not going to make a decision right now.”
Gasp and call me an idiot all you want--it's different when you’ve been under that much stress for that long. I’m not completely stupid--I am not staying. Even after the email I received from her this weekend. Unfortunately, I now have to go through the entire thing again on Monday when I tell her no.

Free

I got a new job. And food poisoning. Or the flu. Either way, it was bad.

But I got a new job, and that is good. Now I just have to tell my boss.

I Dream of Sleep

Dennis Leary has an entire skit on NyQuil. The stuff knocks my husband out for hours. Everyone I know raves about the stuff and how wonderful it is when they are sick and can't sleep. They just take 1 dose and off to la-la land it is.

Am I the only person on this planet that the stuff does not work on? I take the normal dose and am lucky to sleep for an hour.

Stupid cold.

Life-styles of Stressed-Out Felines

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Several of you have at least seen pictures of my cat so I can't say he's convinced you he does not exist, but he has obviously convinced you he is not the evil devil's spawn that he is.


Here is his story.

We got Cheyenne 1 week before our wedding. Short version: Mother and kittens were "dropped off" in a hospital dumpster where they were found and rescued (almost immediately, for those animal lovers out there gasping in sad horror). A week before our wedding we were playing cards with friends who had adopted 2 of the rescued kittens, and, well, who can resist teeny, tiny adorable kittens mewing helplessly at your feet? I picked them both up and they nestled into my hair and it was so adorable and cute and I got all maternal-like and just had to have an adorable-mewing-kitten-who-liked-to-wrap-up-in-my-hair of my own. So that very night we picked up one of the 2 kittens that were left, swung by a store to pick up all the essentials and began our journey as cat owners.

First thing you should know: I tend to be more of a dog person, Golden Retrievers are my favorite, but I like German Shepards, Huskies, etc., but I like (almost) all animals. I was raised in an environment that allowed for several pets (and some chickens) and I loved it (except the chickens--and roosters. Hey, you try getting on a school bus with chickens nearby, or try watering several dogs while running from a rooster, those things are mean.) Second oh-so-important note: We were supposed to be getting a female. They had 1 of each and they wanted to keep the male.

He is not a female.

We got him fixed like most people should unless you are willing to be responsible for the potentially numerous offspring, and declawed.

I'm not sure exactly what went wrong; maybe it was the night we dropped him off in a house with 3 screaming kids so we could go on our honeymoon. We had to pick him up after we received a call saying he was under the table and would not let anyone near him, including his kitty brother and sister whom he had only been separated from for a week. See, he has always been grumpy. It's not like he has abandonment issues.

Let us remember the time I had to get a tetanus shot and take antibiotics because he bit me. And the time he bit my mother-in-law after she had been feeding him all week while we were on vacation. Then there was the time the assistant at the vet almost dropped the cage when he made a cougar-like sound that had us all in stunned silence.

For you Cheyenne fans out there, you will note I have added a link to the "Green" post on the sidebar (now that it has become so popular, I wish I would have given it a better title), since my cat has somehow elicited your empathy. However, before your Cheyenne Crusade goes global, I would like to say that my cat, as annoying as he is, can be adorable and friendly and cuddly. As long as you pet him when he wants and how he wants, all is well.

I write to vent

I'm sick. Fever, throat on fire, everything moving in slow motion, sick. But I'm at work today. Another employee has today off as it is a holy day (see below) so I have to be here. Also, I am still fighting to take the next 2 days off. So, the boss walks in at 8:00 this morning, looks at me, and says "What's wrong with you now, you look like crap."

Nice.

I almost never call in sick. I take days off for vacation or a long weekend here and there, but those are planned in advance, so to me this seemed highly inappropriate. I told her I was sick, that I had what another staff member had when they missed a day and a half of work (which is unheard of for her, also) and what my husband is getting over. She said, with a tone of such frustration and anger I wasn't expecting, "Well then why don't you just go home."

Excuse me? Really?

It took everything I had to not drop the paperwork I was holding and walk out the door.

Random

I made lasagna yesterday. Good things happen when I make lasagna. Usually, it's just that I make my husband happy and that makes me happy, but yesterday it was even better.

I got a call while preparing said lasagna from an attorney. She said she was familiar with the office I work in, and familiar with me. She was familiar with me and she still called, that's a pretty good sign. She asked me some generic questions, asked me what I currently made and then asked me to contact her staff tomorrow (today) to see if we get along. Another good sign. You don't waste your staff's time talking to someone you don't want to hire.

Not the job I was currently after (a corporation across the street from the last corporation I worked for is hiring in the legal department and since I didn't learn my lesson from the last corporation, I went for it), but it's another option.

Yay. It'll help me get through today, anyway.

Oh this just keeps getting better

I don't even know where to start with this post.

We have an older lady at work who claims to have a mixed religion. Somewhere between Christian and Jewish. She says "Christians believe Jesus was the Christ and he came, Jewish people don't believe he was the Christ. Jesus kept the days of the Old Testament, and so do I." How are you mixed in that? Either you believe Jesus is who He says He is, or you don't. I digress...

She has several vices to which she embraces and has no thought of getting rid of and practices her religion in no way other than to place a tiny menorah on her desk and take a day off work a few times a year in honor of a feast day. Her attitude leaves a lot to be desired and she is a bit (to put it politely) selfish. Now, all I'm saying is that the only way anyone would know that she even knew what religion was is if they were around work at a time when she could get something for being so. With that being said, I'll move on.

This lady, a/k/a LS#1, returned from Egypt on Monday (3/26), where she married a man 31 years younger than her (and missed 10 days of work). She told us yesterday (3/28) that she needs next Tuesday (4/3) and the following Monday (4/9) off work because they are holy days.

I don't see any problem with keeping the Old Testament feast days. Not a practice I entertain, but it's always good to remember.

LS#1 says that her god does not allow her to work on that day and to not allow her to take it off is discrimination. (I don't even know if I'm supposed to capitalize god in this instance because I am just confused over her religion.) First off, we employ less than 5 people so we are exempt from the "employer" title in the statute, but even if we employ over 15 people, we would not be required to allow her the time off if:
"an employer demonstrates that he is unable to reasonably accommodate an employee's or prospective employee's religious observance or practice without undue hardship on the conduct of the employer's business." 775 ILCS 5/2‑101

LS#1 originally claimed that not giving her Monday, April 9th, off was discrimination. I claim that giving her the day off is discrimination. We already have 1 employee scheduled off on that day and only 1 employee may be off at a time. Not to mention it is the Village board meeting day. Bad day to only have 2 employees working. Aside from that, I cannot take Good Friday off because someone else has already requested it off. That's just the way it is. So, how does LS#1 get away with it?

I have no idea.

But that's not all....

I asked for 2 days off next week and had to listen to 5 minutes of I need this and I need that and Is this going to be done and Only if you stand on your head for the 4th set of 82 minutes in the 32nd day of any month, and then, as long as it's the year of the snake, maybe.

So I had to pencil it in and write "tentatively scheduled off"

"Shut up, Baby. I know it."

I work with a young lady who cannot walk outside our office building without getting hit on. Whether she's standing outside on break, or we're walking down the street to get lunch, it never fails, and it always amuses me to hear the poor-excuses-of-pick-up-lines. Especially when they're in Spanish, as her knowledge of the Spanish language consists of "Hola" and anything that can be taught by Peggy Hill in a half-hour viewing of "King of the Hill". (Okay, to give credit where due, I will admit she has learned a bit more than that.) I, however, will not be outdone!

My shopping excursion, in which I learned I have no idea what to get my 3 year old niece for her birthday (but had no problem finding several office supplies I wish would fit on my desk), ended most unproductively. I must have been upset over not buying anything and it must have been obvious because, while at a stop-light, the kind gentleman in the car next to mine decided to cheer me up (hello west side).

"Hey Hunny. Damn, yous fine. You a sexy li'l hottie!"

Restraining the urge to throw myself at him, because I so love a man who cannot put together a proper sentence, I began to wonder what, exactly, he expected in response. Was he reenacting a scene from "Pretty Woman". Was I supposed to put on a blonde wig (hehehe) and say "Hey baby. You lookin' for a date?"

Several seconds, and comments, later, the light mercifully changed and I continued making my way back to work. Not sure it was the better option, but I stand by my decision.

Happy To Be So

11 Reasons I am happy today:

1. Heath Rocks. And he's funny. And cute. And he's my husband. Heath. Who is my husband.

2. Stairs. I have been walking the stairs for 25 to 30 minutes this week on my lunch break (not every day, but it will be three times by the end of the week). 5 flights and I feel great. Also, flexibility stretches rock. I've only been doing them for 1 1/2 weeks and noticing a difference.

4. The weather. It's been pretty nice. I'm looking forward to a good thunderstorm.

5. I have two parties to go to this weekend hosted and co-hosted by people I like, and possibly a friend I have not seen in too long going with, if she's available. Tupperware and Pampered Chef, here I come!

6. I have learned the art of staring at an employee when they ask a stupid question rather than answering them. Nervous freak-outs are the best. (Less stressful, too.)

7. For the first time ever I came up with a great gift idea. Months in advance. It is sitting in my house and I cannot wait. Yay me!

8. I have decided I am going to clean my house tonight. I try to keep it clean all the time, but the last two weekends I have taken shortcuts and done 1 room a day and I just don't feel like it's clean clean. I am looking forward to it.

9. I have accepted the fact that the accounting I am working on will never be finished, the Inventory will never be formatted correctly, and the petition will be changed at least 9 times before it is good enough to send to another attorney (in "draft" form) for approval. I'm okay with that.

10. I just listened to a song about a lady defeating robots. Pink robots to be exact. That would make anyone happy.

11. I don't know what a Wuggle Bear is, but it's so annoying I had to put it up.

You Are 14% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Yeah, I'd pick evil over stupidity any day. I can't help it. I see the consequences of stupid every day. That makes me evil.

Ohayou gozaimasu

Your Japanese Name Is...

Rai Konoe

What's your Japanese Name?

"One cannot put a quart in a pint cup"

We went to the new Wal-Mart by us this weekend. Convenient, yes, but the extra traffic and lights are a bit annoying. Anyway, our first experience left a lot to be desired. Click here and read the 3/16/07 post. Probably best to do so before continuing with this post.

The experience was not enough to keep me from the convenience (I work with these type of people; I have to increase my patience in dealing with them), so I returned on Sunday. Our good ol' pal Lamont was working as the Greeter. A much more suitable position, in my opinion, and the girl at the checkout had no problem whatsoever keeping her hands off the cancel key, thus allowing me to use my card. Amazing. I felt like shaking her hand and offering her a job. The smile, the friendly attitude, the ability to run the cash register. Not to mention the cognitive skills--not only did she notice she was low on change when helping the person ahead of me, she actually had the forethought to ask someone to get her change BEFORE she needed it! She's already ahead of two of the staff in my office. (Gives you a lot of confidence in the legal system, doesn't it?)

Green

I love this room. This is the "green room". It used to be the cat's room but we turned it into a reading room. We did not completely kick him out, his bed is still tucked away in the corner, mostly because it matches the room.



This room is like a warm hug. When the furnace kicks on it gets nice and cozy and you just want to curl up with a good book and forget the rest of the world exists. I showed this picture at work and one of the ladies replied "Wow! You have a lot of books." I looked at the picture, looked at her, looked at the picture and said "You have no idea."

As of the last update on March 4th, we officially had 1,884 books, but that changes weekly. I started to count the bookshelves in each room, and by the time I finished she just stared at me with a blank look on her face. I don't think she gets into books too much.

Of course, the whole reason for having bookshelves throughout the house is so the cat has several places to sleep....

This picture was taken after we bought the bookshelves in the "green room" and were in the process of moving books around. Big mistake. As soon as we emptied a shelf, the cat would claim it as his and he didn't like the idea of us moving him so we could put other books in his place.

Also, we bought another car. It's "smokey grey". We opted for another Subaru Forester. I love it. It's pretty.

Hysterics = Pretty Flowers

Excessive use of the word hell

This post is rated 17. In television land, that equals a TV7--meaning it is suitable for children ages 7 and older--I, however, stand by my 17. Seriously.

Not being one to swear (until recently--unless I am playing MarioKart) (I am working on that, seriously)--I am way too immpresionable--I found it spewing forth in all of its unstoppable madness today. Oh yes, it was unstoppable. Particularly, the phrase "What the hell?" (For those of you currently arguing that that is not swearing, I consider it mild swearing due to its usage. You have your standards, I have mine.) If you were near me for any period of time today, you would have heard this phrase uttered several times in response to any number of vastly ranging goings on.

One such such event takes place in the store. I completely freaked out and lost it today, so I took my lunch. After putting on my crazed woman behind the wheel performance for anyone in the downtown area, I headed to a store. Upon entering the store, I wandered aimlessly for several minutes before rounding a shelving unit just in time to hear an older gentleman ask "Do I need a toilet cover?"

What the hell?!?!?

Surely I did not hear this man correctly. Why would he be asking if he needs a toilet cover? Does one really need a toilet cover? Isn't this the kind of decision that depends upon personal preference? And what if the person he was asking said "No. No, you don't need a toilet cover.", but this man really wanted one, would he have the nerve to stand up and say "I don't care. I want one of these here fuzzy toilet covers and I am going to get one!", or would he simply shrug, say okay and move on, never fully knowing the fuzzy coveredness his toilet could have splendored in.

I glanced quickly, so as not to be too obvious about the fact that I was completely enthralled with what I was witnessing and behold... he was holding a fuzzy toilet seat lid cover.

Are you picturing this? Seriously, you have to picture this. He was older, though not necessarily old. Maybe just reaching retirement. Whoever he was talking to was not standing right next to him and it took me a few moments to realize there was a young lady (possibly a granddaughter, definitely family) with him. He was standing next to a shelf of fuzzily bright toilet covers, holding one in one hand while petting the ones on the shelf with his other hand, and he asks "Do I need a toilet cover?". See. Chances are you would have had a similar thought even if you did not voice it.

Another similarly unstoppable spewment spawned from the frustrations of an employee (shocker). I had told said employee to put a document on hold until I gathered more information from another employee who was not in yet. To clarify, I said "Wait until so-and-so comes in so I can check with her on some information." She came to me this afternoon with a question on the very same document. Again, What the hell?!?!?! Did I not just say to hold that document. Here you are preparing a document that might not even need to be prepared. (sigh) She did wait until so-and-so came in. My fault for not clarifying. I tried to stay calm but the phrase still flew forth more obstreperously than an 8 year old on Christmas morning.

Forgive the conversational whiplash...
My insane Chicagoland-born-and-raised friend is trying to make me into a city driver. This is the lady to whom we had to explain that the restaraunt we were having our company Christmas lunch at was not in the back of that slow moving vehicle in front of her. You rock and all, but from now on when you tell me it will take me 15 minutes to drive somewhere (or however long you said) I am just going to double it. Or at the very least add on 20 minutes.

Random Thoughtiness...
I was recently informed that one of my friends from my last (and absolutely most wonderfulest...) (you caught the sarcasm in that, right?) job at RBC is going through a bit of a difficult time at work (still). I sent her an email recently, trying to cheer her up, and never heard back. Being the paranoid type, I wonder if I didn't type something wrong. You know who you are, and if you are reading this and I did type something wrong, please blame it on the spell check and forgive me. If I did not type anything wrong and you are just extraordinarily busy due to school and work, then I would love to hear from you whenever you do get a chance.

And of course, there is the snow. (See above where I mention that I really am trying to stop saying the aforementioned phrase--see, I am refraining and I really want to say it right now.) Yeah.

Yet, even with all of that, I have still managed to survive this day and still be in a good mood. Goofy even, and my wonderful, loving husband has humored me through all of my awful jokes, puns, and quotes. I love this man.
Which brings me to "anonymous'" answer: It's a standard picture. I think it comes with all new blogs. I hope my amazingly wonderful husband does not mind that I posted this happy picture of us together in all of our Heath&Wandaness. It sure beats the cute and not-so-cuddly evil cat that seems to have everyone fooled into believing he is sweet and kind and cuddly.

Humbleness

My blog is boring. Really. I don't post the nutitional information of peanuts, I don't say hi to Pete or Ed (not that I wouldn't if Pete or Ed were to say hi to me, but I don't even know that a Pete or Ed read my blog) I don't write about my prettily knitted socks (which I love, btw). I just try to keep in touch with people I don't keep in touch with. Maybe I need a theme. I'm not good with themes. Hmmmmm....

Restoration

Yesterday was pretty much awful. No particular reason, it was just awful. And being the third Monday of the month, I had food pantry. I left work and called Heath, who had previously left me a message saying he was supposed to go fix his boss' home computer, but he was still at work and was having an equally, if not more so, awful day. All I wanted to do was go home and give him a big hug. 11 1/2 hour days kill me. I rarely take lunches or breaks anymore unless I am about to lose it (which, I hate to admit, happens more than it should these days) and yesterday was one of those no break days. My point is, I really just wanted to go home. But I headed over to the church anyway, hungry (my boss kept me busy until I absolutely had to leave to "get me to the church on time"--I love My Fair Lady). Anyway, I cannot say that I usually look forward to this, but I don't really mind, and usually feel pretty good when I leave, but I was less than thrilled at the prospect of a long night after a long day, which I assume is pretty much the same for any emotionally exhausted person. But boy (or goodnight, as my brother would say, adorable as it is), was I wrong about last night. I actually got to be out in the "waiting room" with everybody, talking, and after some of our volunteers had to leave (I believe they had some "breast cancer awareness" going on to go to)I handled calling numbers and marking on cards. A little hard on the nerves when you call a number and a person whose name you should know but just can't remember, jumps up. I got to talk to people more than I ever got to in the pantry room. Not that we didn't talk in there, but it was usually while trying to get them to pick their food so we could keep the line moving. Occasionally you stop everything and listen to someone going through a rough time that needs to talk, or to learn about a new person, but we try to keep things running smoothly in there.

Not only that, but I got to talk to the "newer" volunteers more. Or at least one of them. She's actually the mother/mother-in-law/mother of the boyfriend of the other volunteers, and let me just say that the entire family is nice. I don't just mean the immediate family, I mean the spouse/girlfriend/(and from what I hear)new boyfriend (whom I have not met yet but is supposedly nice, also). The type of people that you feel good after talking to because niceness like that is contagious.
So after I left I was completely rejuvinated (I feel a commercial coming on). It was exactly what I needed. Yay.

So, I stop at Taco Bell on my way home to pick up dinner, as both of us still have yet to eat anything other than a Special K cereal bar, and I really think the drive-thru lady was mad at me. I don't mean disgruntled-employee-does-not-want-to-be-there-and-is-mad-at-the-world, usually you can tell that their mad and it may be directed at you but does not feel personal. This actually felt personal. Before I could grasp ahold of the bag, it landed (luckily) in my lap. But, I was in such a good mood, I just felt bad for her and moved on.

Then, as just down the street from my house, I notice something annoying. Very annoying. All of the houses in the neighborhood have 4 porch lights. 2 on the garage, 1 on the side and 1 by the front door. This particular house I was looking at had 2 bluish white lights and 2 yellowish white lights, but instead of having 2 of the same on the garage and the other 2 on the front porch and side, they have them mixed. How annoying. Really. (Yes, I am one of those people that wants nothing more than to be rid of the people who hang one strand of blinking lights with a bunch of non-blinking lights--seriously people, do you know how incredibly annoying that is?) Imagine my dismay as I get closer and realize that it is my house. Mine. No. No, no, no, no, no. Not going to work. Must be changed. I appreciate my husband changing the burnt out (and even broken) lights. I do. It is nice to not have to worry about that, so I don't want to say too much about this, so... ummmm... I'm just going to try to let that go.

And now that I am finished, I remember that I do not blog right. Everybody else rereads and rewords. Sorry. Maybe I will try that sometime. I barely profread much less fix.

Time

Now that the house is done, I get to enjoy my weekends again. I did little else this weekend aside from cleaning the house and reading. And I enjoyed it. It is hard to get used to not constantly doing something, and even though it has been several weeks since we finished, I am still dealing with the feeling that I am being lazy and should be working on something.

I am not complaining; things worked out pretty well, actually, considering the 50+ hours I have been (and will be) putting in at work for a while. Still no hope of hiring someone else to fill in the vacant position. In fact, an applicant relocating to the area was turned away this last week. Not sure why, but I did visit several other offices in the building to find someone who did accept the resume and made a copy--as much as I hate to admit it (because I feel like I am failing) I cannot do two jobs. (sigh)

I have been enjoying my free time more, and have been doing well on the Through the Bible in a Year project I recently posted about, only to find that soon the church will be hosting Friday night get-togethers regarding the same. Maybe now is a good time for me to do the Big Brothers/Big Sisters thing that I have been slowly...applying (is that what do you do for these things... apply for a volunteer position?) Well whatever you want to call it, I turned in the forms. It's been over a year since I obtained the initial information. I have been working with an incredibly nice Social Worker on this, but never made it to one of the training sessions they have. Seems like a good time. Maybe that is my next "something I want to do" project.

C is for Cookie, R is for Retribution

A cookie party, eh? How about a surprise cookie party? You drop the cookies off at my house, and then guess when to come back for the party. As an added bonus maybe I will get a band. I was thinking The Judds. They are supposed to be on Wheel of Fortune in a couple of days...

In the way of interesting news, I ran into this guy today; he said he wanted to know how to get to Beloit. Seems some guy in a truck on the side of the interstate a couple of months back gave him directions and he ended up in California. Huh... wonder what that was all about.

Anyway, in happy news, the jury trial case was settled so that made things a bit easier. Yeah, let's go with that. Work is work. It will still be there tomorrow. Until then, I am going to go relax and read a book.

6 days of excuses...

As previously mentioned, I am confused because this is unacceptable.

And for those of you who did not get that, don't worry, there are few who will.

I needed to entertain myself for a brief period of time because I am within sight of my breaking point. I mentioned before that Miss I Got A New Job high-tailed (is that hyphenated, is it 1 word or 2, is that the prefered spelling?--sorry, another insider.) it out of here leaving me to do her work and two employees to deal with two .... other employees... alone, with the expectation that nobody would go flying out the window. Silly Marni. Since I have hardly talked to anyone in a while, I offer you 6 days of excuses:

Sunday started off with a lovely freak-out followed by a short but massive migraine. Not much to say there except that my bed is not as comfy as it used to be. Especially after several hours of lying perfectly still, not moving.

Monday was off to work so I could punch in by 6:30 and get started on all the panic-causing work I had. Still dealing with the “migraine hangover”, I was more than ready to turn around and head home when I saw that I could not see my desk. The boss was in this weekend and literally every open space on my desk was filled with files or sticky notes. I had to put everything on the floor to go through it because there was nowhere else to go through this stuff. On top of that, trying to merge two desks into one was not an easy task, especially since the desk that was being merged has more surface area then the desk being merged into. Task not quite accomplished (I was so frustrated that everything looked so messy, I feared another migraine), I set about trying to remember everything I had to do--before the sticky note bombardment. Of course that was before the boss came in for the day and decided that I did not have enough jobs to do, I needed to do some billing. Apparently having one employee solely dedicated to billing 40 hours a week is suddenly not enough. After work I ran over to the “sold” house to make sure no pipes had burst and left us with our very own ice skating rink (which they didn’t) then called my brother to yet again skip out on food pantry. I kinda suck.

Tuesday was definitely not any better. Another 6:30 a.m. punch-in and then a passive-aggressive reminder that monthly past due billing needed to be done and I needed to call so-and-so, and so-on, and then a trip to the doctors office. Now, because of the snow and all I had thought to myself, “Hey self, I wonder if they have had any cancellations because it is snowing pretty hard and it is really cold, and some people have time to reschedule, maybe you could get your appointment moved up…” So I called, and was told they had a lot of cancellations and that I could come at 12:15 if I would like. Since it was 11:30, and snowy, I left. I arrived at 12:05 and proceeded to sit through an annoying hour and 15 minutes of small talk from a not-so-interesting my-ager sitting across from me. Then proceeded to overhear her discussion with the doctor wherein she indicated “No, my husband does not know that I am getting my tubes tied, but we have three kids and I don’t care. Besides, I think we are about done. I don’t think we’ll be together much longer.”, as though she were tired of that old sofa she had in her house for the last 3 years.

After returning to work I suffered through the usual “So, when are you due. hahahaha” jokes from the lady who can’t decide if I am worthy of her presence or not.

Wednesday. (hold-please, I actually have to check calendars because I just thought that maybe I had my days mixed up because this week has been a big blur) Nope. I’m right so far. Wednesday was the day my boss walked in at 6:40 a.m. and said “Oh, thought I would beat you in today.” Nope. Wednesday was also the day the bills had to be done for the village my boss represents. Enough said. Aside from that, I found at that my first day of tagging along to court with the attorney is now going to be tagging along to court with a different attorney because my boss has a jury trial. One that I have to help with. Jury instructions, board preparation, etc. Not that I don’t totally love this stuff, but not right now. I don’t have time.

By Thursday I am more than exhausted and two fighting employees are not helping matters. Mostly because the one that is right is held at a more accountable level than the one who is not, and although I want to fire one of them and never ever have to deal with anyone like her again, I cannot. (More on this in my work blog). By the end of the day I have two bills that have to be done first thing Friday morning and guilt from a conversation that let me know I am letting people down.

Now I am dealing with Friday. After arriving at work around 6:30 all week, skipping lunch almost every day (obviously I am taking a short break today), and flying around like a crazy person, I am just not in the mood to listen to two other employees complain about how much work they have. Especially since their workload has not changed any. They are not feeling the effects of the loss of an employee; I am handling all of that. And the poor biller received word on Monday she had to have five bills done by Wednesday (one of which should actually be allowed a week or more to do). She is also frustrated. My sympathies, Michelle. So as I try to maintain my sanity, I ask that you all please understand. I have meant to call some of you, and I am trying to keep up with my extra-curriculars, but until things calm down (I don’t know when as we are still not hiring anyone to replace Miss I Got A New Job) I am a bit frazzled and forgetful.

I'm evil, but only when you're depressed

Yes. I am back to mean Wanda. This, ironically, does coincide with the employee who thinks I am evil going off of her antidepressants again. Shocker.

On top of that, we did manage to lose an employee; however, it was one of the employees we wanted to keep. Now I am doing three jobs. My own, the job of the lady that is leaving (gone--Friday was her last day), and unfortunately I am still playing the role of babysitter.

As I try to figure how on earth I am possibly to manage this task, my mind went a little haywire this morning and within (literally) 10 minutes time I went from fine, to not being able to see, to full blown migraine. Then my husband proved once again that he is amazing. He jumped right into action, missed out on a long, hot shower on a cold winter morning and instead rushed through one in order to take my grandmother to church for me so she would not miss out on the lunch they were having today.

I assume there is no question as to why I love this man.

Aside from that he is still being wonderful to me even though I am a bit snippy. Trying not to think about work is almost as stressful as thinking about it.

The headache is gone now; I am dealing with the residual shaky, weak, disoriented feeling.

Hooray for work!

Apologies

I have been so caught up in my own little world that I completely forgot (yet another) birthday. I am sorry, Cyndy! Happy Belated Birthday (on the 15th), although, I was thinking it was February 15th instead of January 15th. I hope it was wonderful!

Also, to my neice, Alyssa, who's birthday was the 25th. Happy Belated Birthday, Alyssa!

And, hey, while I am doing it, I will say Happy Birthday to Kathy! It’s her birthday today!

And, my parent’s anniversary was on Monday (36 years, I believe). Happy Anniversary! Congrats!

Also, we sold the house! (in 6 days!) (Kathy--shhhhh. I want Heath to be able to tell Nick) for less then we listed, but more than we thought we'd get, but we do have to pay some of closing costs. We are all extraordinarily happy. It is contingent upon their financing, but they are supposedly positive they have it. Also, they have 1 week to get an inspection and make sure everything checks out well there.

Delusional

1 week on the market and we have an offer, people! Granted, it’s not a very good one, but it’s a start.
Approximately $7,000.00 less than asking price;
Closing date set for March;
They want everything in the house (duh!--except for the shop-vac--that’s mine);
Home Warranty (And let’s face it, who doesn’t want that these days);
Home Inspection (which they will pay for--hey, if someone is not going to allow you to get an inspection, RUN!); and
It is contingent upon the buyers obtaining financing, because they don’t have pre-approval yet. (Kathy, I am emailing you about this since we just had this discussion.)
They want us to take that much less, wait until the end of February to see if they get financing, and carry the house until mid-March after the house has only been on the market for one week? Gee, let me think about that--Uhhh.. No. But, that's why they have counter-offers.
It's exciting anyway.


In other news, Mary is due back to work tomorrow after a week in Jamaica. Which means no more IPod, but it also means no more weird R&B/Techno/Rap mix coming from the computer next to me! Who knew I would be so happy to NOT have music at work?

"Which way did our last chance go?"

The house is done, and supposedly on the market, though I do not see it on the web site yet. Yay! For Saledness! Just a few odds and ends to finish up.


The boss is out of the country on vacation, and it appears as though two of my employees minds went with her. I was honestly ready to fire one of them today, and I did not think I would ever reach the point where I would not mind being the one to do the firing.


Taking the optimistic approach, I can happily announce that I am currently listening to my IPOD Nano, and I love it. At least now I don’t have to listen to the constant sniffling that I suffer through 8 hours a day 5 days a week from the receptionist.
Also, Grey’s Anatomy is on tonight. Hooray!

Sarah--If you read this, I have had NO free time this week and therefore have not given grandma those books yet.
Grandma--If you read this, I have books for you.
Dena--If you read this, I want cookies! :)

Regarding Slackness

Is it really the 10th already? There was a holiday?

Regardless of how fast the last couple of months have been, this day seems to be lasting forever. I do not mean the kind of forever that starts at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 5:00 p.m., but the kind of forever that started yesterday morning, allowed for little sleep, and is still plaguing me.

Sometime yesterday morning, amidst an otherwise normal morning, a sinking feeling began to grow in my stomach. The kind that you usually get after something bad happens and you nervously await resolution. Only, I have not received resolution. I don’t even know what is wrong.

More than 24 hours later (too few of those involving sleep), I still cannot shake the feeling. My employees actually decided that it was “women’s intuition” and that everyone should go home because they believe strongly in “women’s intuition” and something might be wrong. For the sake of going home and catching up on some sleep, I wanted to agree with them, for the sake of not wanting anything to be wrong, I will live without the sleep.

Anyway, in house flip-i-ness news, things are going well. We found a realtor willing to go for 5%, and we are almost ready to put it on the market. I will be happy to have some time back.

That’s all I can manage for now, as the nauseating nervous feeling appears to be staying for a while.