I don't have issues, I have the whole subscription...

I was tagged for a weird meme.

No, really, its a "seven weird things about me" meme (thanks Kathy I take this to mean you think I'm weird). My first thought was: "I only get seven?"

In preparation for this, I began to think about which of the many weird things about me I should list, and then I realized that I am not only weird, but suffer from OCD.

So, to start, I give you my desk. Complete with a drawer full of Clorox cleaning wipes, a swiffer duster, several different bottles of Purel and other lotion-y sanitizers, all of which are used at least once-a-day.

If you click on the picture, you can almost see the pictures on my desk

This is my desk. And now that I am looking at the picture I feel it is a bit untidy, and have the urge to reorganize! Even though two of the attorneys have been in trial for a week-and-a-half and it has been relatively quiet, I actually have a lot to do. However, I can't think with everything all over, so it all sits nicely piled in my in-box or a stack on my desk that I put in order of importance and keep pulling from the top throughout the day.



I am an organization freak. I love office supplies and accessories. Over half the items on my desk are literally mine. There is 1 particular item that is not on my desk yet that I must have. Michelle, are you reading this?? There is a really neat mesh organizer with little drawers and pencil cups on the side at The-Store-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. Have you seen this yet? I will post a picture soon!

Aside from my desk I have another table against the wall with the hanging shelves. Currently housing 6 stacks of paper (end-of-the-month-billing), which are driving me crazy.

And here is my "to be filed" pile (a little hard to see here, but it is in the basket on the little table. There was a lot of filing not getting done before I started and I'm still trying to get caught up. This area is a little messy and I hesitate to post this picture because now it is here, mocking me with its messiness.



Also, my office is not green. I don't have a digital camera, so I used my phone, and while I don't have lines running across my pictures, they are kind of green.

So, there it is. Weirdness #1 - I am an organizational freak. We went to the local office supply store twice in the last week so that I could pick up labels for my label maker (I love my label maker) and to pick up divider tabs for my binder that I am using at work.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the remaining six.

Feelin' so small at the bottom of the world

I thought it was about time for a change. Something new and different.

My mood finally seems to be breaking. A new job, lunch with an old friend, and an incredible husband can do wonders for a person--namely me.

I have no idea what my deal has been lately, so I will attribute it to being completely burnt out, to prescription drugs that seem to have completely messed up my hormones and other important chemistry, and to the unfortunate truth that I suck and don't fight my mood swings hard enough.

Now I have reached the point where I ask what's next, 'cause something has to change.
It wasn't too long ago (just a few years) I was sitting on my bed, staring out the window across the hall at the trees outside, when it hit me just how blessed I was. I remember this moment clearly; it was an overwhelming feeling that has never really left. I looked around and had an incredible appreciation for everything I had. My house, personal items, my husband. I openly admitted that I was probably the happiest person I knew, and I really believe that I was at that time. That lasted for a little while, until I grew careless and things got a bit messy. However, I've always heard that if you can't keep growing, at least maintain where you are. So I tried that, and I attempted to "maintain". Then I found myself complaining about anything, everything more and more; my old attitude, the one that seriously dislikes the world and has low tolerance level for anything. Now, I feel that by hanging in there I have actually made things worse for other people. Face it, we've all been there--you try to do something nice to help out other people, but your heart's not in it and you're lucky to not make things worse.
Basically put, in the last few years I have gone from Christian-in-training to happy-go-lucky-Christian to I-don't-know. Somewhere, I missed something.

Walking away from a Christian life, in my mind, is the stupidest thing a person could do. I know that the happiest, most blessed time of my life was when I was completely into the Christian life. Not that I didn't have mood swings, bad days (or weeks) or trouble, but there was a contentness (or hope, as I have often heard it put, though I think contentness describes my sentiments better) that can not be explained unless you have experienced it yourself. I will continue on and hope that I find whatever I missed, but don't be surprised to see the writings of someone who doesn't know where she is standing.

As an attempt to keep you entertained while I ride on this roller-coaster, I will be adding new sites and trying out new things. I am even looking into a new blog-host, as Get Your Hook On has just moved, and there seem to be some definite benefits to moving.

Look around, hang out, post a response, and have fun!

Grumpiness and whatnot

For those of you who regularly check my blog, I apologize. But the fact is I have been grumpy lately. No. Not grumpy--freaking grumpy. So grumpy that I don't want to do anything. I don't want to deal with people, I don't want to deal with life, I just don't want to deal. My job is going well, busy and behind, but better than the last job, so that's not it. I have no idea what it is. But, since I currently run the risk of having no friends or family left talking to me when this grumpiness ends, I have chosen to not talk to anyone, or talk to them as little as possible. Sorry--but I hope you understand.

May the grumpiness stay far, far away from you all and not overwhelm you as it has me.

That's all I have to say.

Annoyedness

People often tell me that I am too nice. Let me start out by saying: I know that is not true. Incompetent people annoy me to no end and when I am annoyed, I get mean. Selfish people annoy me, also, and again, that makes me mean. There’s also stupid people, people with no common sense or analytical skills, and some little people--they all annoy me, also.

Part of my problem is that I don’t tell people when things are bothering me (the big things, anyway), especially if it is because of them. Usually, I figure that if whatever is bothering me is only going to happen once or twice, or if it is an undesired responsibility that is going to be shared, I’ll suck it up and get on with things--no big deal; if it’s limited. Except… I have found that for some reason, whether it be because I don’t voice my unhappiness or because other people find the same thing undesirable and decide not to take their turn, I deal with it more than originally planned, and by the time I realize this it is almost too late to say anything without seeming petty.

So instead I let it all build up until I break.

Then I get mean--and not the annoyed mean, the bear-going-after-food mean and I strongly suggest staying as far away from me as possible. And it doesn’t end after one instance, it actually gets worse; because I still don’t say what is really bothering me.

All I can say is I am thankful I married a man who is as annoyed by everyone else I am.

"Walked by the ocean, waited for a star"

It's Sunday night, almost 8:00, and I am not panicking about work tomorrow.

On Friday, I came up with a good idea, found and fixed an error (that wasn't mine), and figured out how to pay taxes--incorrectly at first, but I fixed that error, too.

On Saturday, I went in to work for my former boss (mostly because PL/Biller is stuck doing what was my job with very little training but she did it right so again I ask: Anyone want to hire her?) Talked to my former boss over the phone (she forgot she had an appointment and couldn't make it in--what a shame) for a few minutes in which she reiterated everything that happened that week, including finding out about a bench trial on Tuesday that I had not subpoena'd anyone for. Probably because I didn't know about it and to which I simply replied "Oh." I don't think she liked that.

Friday was, according to the person training me, a stressful day. I can handle that kind of stress. That was better than a good day at my former job!

Heath and I were discussing how we listen to other employees complain about how stressful their day was; comments like "I couldn't even take my break on time, I had to wait another half-hour" and we stand there thinking.... Break? I think I've heard of that.

Things are moving pretty quickly at work. Settling in nicely. It helps that I know what I'm doing. Now I just need to wait for the part-timer who is training me to move to the other facility so I can finish moving my stuff in. I cleaned up "our" desk and she seemed so lost. Probably best to save that til she's done training me.

And as for the cat, to whomever posted on "Green", he has been happy to see me when I come home on my lunch break. He has been extraordinarily cuddly and friendly. Except for when we are trying to sleep. I believe the hole currently reserved for Ms. A. (my grandma's cat--before anyone starts wondering) is soon to be filled by another cat if he doesn't allow my husband to sleep through the night.