Oh this just keeps getting better

I don't even know where to start with this post.

We have an older lady at work who claims to have a mixed religion. Somewhere between Christian and Jewish. She says "Christians believe Jesus was the Christ and he came, Jewish people don't believe he was the Christ. Jesus kept the days of the Old Testament, and so do I." How are you mixed in that? Either you believe Jesus is who He says He is, or you don't. I digress...

She has several vices to which she embraces and has no thought of getting rid of and practices her religion in no way other than to place a tiny menorah on her desk and take a day off work a few times a year in honor of a feast day. Her attitude leaves a lot to be desired and she is a bit (to put it politely) selfish. Now, all I'm saying is that the only way anyone would know that she even knew what religion was is if they were around work at a time when she could get something for being so. With that being said, I'll move on.

This lady, a/k/a LS#1, returned from Egypt on Monday (3/26), where she married a man 31 years younger than her (and missed 10 days of work). She told us yesterday (3/28) that she needs next Tuesday (4/3) and the following Monday (4/9) off work because they are holy days.

I don't see any problem with keeping the Old Testament feast days. Not a practice I entertain, but it's always good to remember.

LS#1 says that her god does not allow her to work on that day and to not allow her to take it off is discrimination. (I don't even know if I'm supposed to capitalize god in this instance because I am just confused over her religion.) First off, we employ less than 5 people so we are exempt from the "employer" title in the statute, but even if we employ over 15 people, we would not be required to allow her the time off if:
"an employer demonstrates that he is unable to reasonably accommodate an employee's or prospective employee's religious observance or practice without undue hardship on the conduct of the employer's business." 775 ILCS 5/2‑101

LS#1 originally claimed that not giving her Monday, April 9th, off was discrimination. I claim that giving her the day off is discrimination. We already have 1 employee scheduled off on that day and only 1 employee may be off at a time. Not to mention it is the Village board meeting day. Bad day to only have 2 employees working. Aside from that, I cannot take Good Friday off because someone else has already requested it off. That's just the way it is. So, how does LS#1 get away with it?

I have no idea.

But that's not all....

I asked for 2 days off next week and had to listen to 5 minutes of I need this and I need that and Is this going to be done and Only if you stand on your head for the 4th set of 82 minutes in the 32nd day of any month, and then, as long as it's the year of the snake, maybe.

So I had to pencil it in and write "tentatively scheduled off"